The inner critic: where the voice that devalues everything comes from
“Who on earth does it like that?” “Messed it up again.” “Anyone else would have managed.” This voice switches itself on, speaks in a tone you would never use with a friend — and calls it “motivation”. Let’s look at who this lodger is and why evicting it is a poor plan.
- Lyudmila Chernysheva, psychologist and hypnotherapist
- Updated: September 27, 2026
Where it comes from
The inner critic is often an external voice that has been internalised: the voice of demanding adults, a harsh school, an environment where love had to be earned[1]. Once it was a survival strategy: tell yourself off before anyone else can, and it hurts less. The strategy is out of date; the habit has stayed.
Why “just don’t listen to it” doesn’t work
The critic passes itself off as useful: it feels as though without its prodding you would slacken off. Research says the opposite: self-critical people made slower progress towards their goals[2]; self-criticism is consistently linked with depression and anxiety[3], and a perfectionist fear of mistakes with burnout[4]. Fear of making a mistake does not spur you on; it slows you down, and the work gets worse, not better.
What works
Notice the critic rather than argue with it: “ah, there it goes again” — that alone puts a little distance between you and it. Ask whose voice this really is: the words often have an author, somewhere in your past. Set a second voice alongside it — not a sugary one (“you’re amazing!”) but a fair one: how would you say this to someone close to you? The same fact, the same slip-up — a different tone. And act before the critic has finished talking: it feeds on the pause between deciding and doing.
When it runs deeper than a habit
If the self-devaluation spares nothing, if every achievement is written off the moment it happens, if the voice sounds unmistakably like a particular person — that is something to take to a specialist, where the aim is to outgrow the voice rather than muffle it. Start with the “Inner critic” test and the “Gentler with yourself” practice.
Sources
- Irons C., Gilbert P., Baldwin M.W., et al. (2006). Parental recall, attachment relating and self-attacking/self-reassurance: Their relationship with depression. British Journal of Clinical Psychology, DOI 10.1348/
014466505X68230 - Powers T.A., Koestner R., Zuroff D.C. (2007). Self-Criticism, Goal Motivation, and Goal Progress. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, DOI 10.1521/
jscp.2007.26.7.826 - Werner A.M., Tibubos A.N., Rohrmann S., et al. (2019). The clinical trait self-criticism and its relation to psychopathology: A systematic review – Update. Journal of Affective Disorders, DOI 10.1016/
j.jad.2018.12.069 - Hill A.P., Curran T. (2016). Multidimensional Perfectionism and Burnout: A Meta-Analysis. Personality and Social Psychology Review, DOI 10.1177/
1088868315596286
The limits of this article
This article is for information only: it does not replace a consultation or a doctor's help.
If you feel very bad right now — in Kazakhstan call 112 or 103; free round-the-clock psychological help — 1303 (Almaty).
If this inner dialogue has been repeating for years — the work starts not with “think positive” but with how exactly it gets triggered.
See also
- Inner critic testa checklist for self-observation
- Individual therapyhow one-to-one work goes
- Hypno-meditation “Gentler with yourself”an 18-minute practice
- Burnout is not lazinessThree signs of burnout, why a holiday is not enough and where recovery starts.
- Boundaries without guiltWhere the guilt after saying no comes from, three myths about boundaries and how to practise saying no.
- Self-esteemWhy self-esteem drops and what helps instead of telling yourself to love yourself.